Milton Bradley didn’t like Chicago and now all the Cublogosphere is up in arms.

If Canada’s epic victory over Team USA in last Sunday’s Olympic Gold Medal game taught us anything, it taught us that every now and then Canada needs to step in and tell America who knows better, who is better, and who will always being looking up to their impressive neighbour to the north.

It really is too bad your country doesn’t care about hockey, because if you did, you’d already have perspective on this overblown Milton Bradley saga and you’d have moved on by now.

Though the circumstances differ, the story is the same. While Bradley blamed Chicago for his poor performance as a Cub in 2009 which lead to his trade to Seattle in the off-season, Chris Pronger blamed Edmonton for a dissatisfied socialite wife while he was an Oiler in 2006 which lead to his trade to the (no-longer Mighty) Ducks in the off-season. The subtle differences are moot, because in both cases, both players became Public Enemy #1 in their respective former cities.

What happened to Edmonton after 2006?

• Three straight monstrous losing seasons - and counting - with no end in sight!
• Because the Prongers dissed their city, Edmonton developed the biggest inferiority complex of all the NHL cities. It’s an inferiority complex so grand that the owner of the Oilers bought the local independent baseball team and renamed them the Capitals (which would be like Sacramento renaming one of their relevant pro teams to the Capitals).
• Edmonton now heavily overpays for players who (claim to) like their city.
• Edmonton now heavily pursues players who wouldn’t sign with them in a million years to try and shed the “this city sucks to play in” image, and while they do this, they forget to build an actual team that can somewhat play hockey a little.

So, Chicago, if you don’t get over Milton Bradley – no matter what he has to say – here’s what I predict you have to look forward to. And before you Americans scoff, just remember that Canada knows better because we (still) own you:

• Milton Bradley has a career year in Seattle, giving credence to the “Chicago is a tough place to play” story that grew and grew because Chicago reacted to the story rather than just ignoring it.
• You think Chicago overpaid for Marlon Byrd or John Grabow? Wait until they offer Jeff Suppan a $27 million dollar contract because he “likes Chicago.”
• Years from now when all hope is lost and Chicago can no longer attract good players, they’ll spend an entire off-season trying to lure a free agent Andrew McCutchen even though he’d rather play in Montreal for the Expos Deux. Once the off-season ends and McCutchen is enjoying wine, smoked meat, and poutine, the Cubs brain-trust will realize they don’t even have a full roster of Major League players.

Do you really want this, Chicago? Of course you don’t, so get over Milton Bradley now, before it’s too late.

Years from now, if Chicago refers to something called “The Curse of Milton Bradley”, don’t say Canada didn’t try to help.